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Things are hard lately. In need of comfort, I decided to return to an old stand-by: Gilead, the perfect-as-is Pulitzer Prize winning novel by Marilynn Robinson. But, when I pulled my well-loved hardcover off the shelf: a tragedy. The text disintegrated in my hands like a dandy-lion I had wished-upon. My only wish was to read the book, so I asked the internet to send another copy to my house. 

But I did not get a book. I got this church. In my computer. 

Problem 1: It was so convenient. I got an email, clicked a link, and forgot to be mad for entire minutes during the opening song, which was catchy, I’ll admit but that brings me to...

Problem 2: Why are hymns not hymns?! If there must be music in this adaptation, it should be something Gilead’s beloved protagonist, Rev. John Ames would enjoy. Rev. John Ames does not like MUNA cover songs. He does not listen to queer-inflected West Coast indy-pop. He is not even familiar with the theological controversies that make that choice subversive. John Ames (beloved protagonist) does not need a new paradigm—he has been through enough! 

Problem 3: The casting made no sense. There were numerous preachers. Like, four maybe? Which one was supposed to be John Ames, beloved protagonist? Which one was supposed to be Boughton, beloved friend of the beloved protagonist? Some of the preachers were women, so that was extra confusing. It’s like this church isn’t even based on the book. 

Problem 4: I laughed out loud at least once. That was nice,  but I came to weep. This is supposed to be a novel about a grieving father/widower who finds love and parenthood late in life, so late he has to die of old age before he gets to see his son grow up, and it is SO SAD, not haha funny at all, so the all laughter just felt really inappropriate to me. 

Nonetheless, I signed a pledge card. It was also linked in the email I got so, whatever, I did it. I assume this is not a real church and I’m having an extended literary nightmare. But, on off-chance this is a thing, I’ve pledged my support because the Rev. John Ames would have wanted that. He also ministered to a small congregation under pandemic conditions and they had no money and it was stressful, so fine.  

Overall, I think I can appreciate what the adaptors are trying to do here, but it is too poststructural, and again, above all—did not come wrapped!

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HUGE thanks to Gilead-ite Annabel Lang for this bad review.